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Friday, September 7th, 2007
8:48 pm
So much stuff has happened since i last posted years ago.I'm 20 now,married,with a baby,her name is ava.She's adorable.I'm still depressed and sad all the time.I still couldnt exscape it.I'm trying everythinbg I can to get better.Turned to drugs for the last few years and now realize ii must feel better with out them.How i will always miss drugs thow.Something exciting all the time ya know???I miss the intensity it had.Now I have a baby and husband and i still cant seem to not think about the drugs.There always in my head and its so hard.I'm so sad to say also I lost a few friends that I had made over the years.They think I crazy and well it fucking hurts.I thought we were good friends but i guess people fool you.I can't seem to cheer up and I need to fast for my husbands sake.I'm going back on a medication.hopefully ill feel fine.I just want to feel normal thats all i ever wanted. Maybe someday it will happen

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Monday, May 29th, 2006
8:24 pm
I'm having a panic attack!!!!!What am I suppose to do when the state you just moved to dosent seem to accept your insurance plan.I mean I'm 16 w 4d and well I havent had anything done and I'm freaking out and I know for a fact that no place takes you without insurance

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Saturday, March 18th, 2006
2:33 am
I'm proud of who I am.I have gone threw so much crap that I swear I can go threw anything.I dont regreat anything in my life because honestly it has made me such a strong person.I have my weakness but,only for ones I love.I just want God realy bad.I want him back in my life.I miss him I use to have conversations with him.I have never forgoten the lord.I just pushed him aside for my own selfishness.And once again he amazes me by looking after me.I asked him for help today and he gave it too me.The same when my whole family prayed including me for ally.Her cancer is gone and prayer works.I use to be so close to him and now this world has seem to drift us apart.I want to be close to you.So you can hold me agagin like you use to.

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Friday, March 3rd, 2006
8:17 pm
love is so silly after forever now i start thinking about him. i thought i was passed this

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Tuesday, January 3rd, 2006
12:26 am
hey my boyfriend went and got some cough syrup for me but he got one that has dmx in it and also guaifenesin is it safe with that in it????????

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Friday, December 30th, 2005
3:15 am - This is so late I'm sorry
Hey Merry christmas and happy holidays, I felt so bad not being able to say that to this community.This is my favorite one! so sorry it toke forever,but christmas went like a blur because of coke and whatnot so i love you all and I hope your holidays were great



~Tiff~

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Friday, December 2nd, 2005
12:02 am
I have a pill capsule that states Dan5440 on it .Its blue, can anyone tell me what it is ???????

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Thursday, November 17th, 2005
11:29 pm
Hey I'm going to Vegas next week hoot! I'm so excited I could pee! lmao i'm gonna drink untill my head explodes

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Saturday, November 12th, 2005
2:24 pm
I feel that god has blessed me but,I'm hurting today.I want him to love me but it seems that it will never happen.I want real love.My grandparents have been doing everything they possible can to help me.I feel like such a loser. I should be going to school,but instead I'm just waiting atround for some mericle to happen like a dumb stooge.I want my life full of happiness and excitment,but that dosent seem to happen while working minum wage at quiznos.Is there an end to this road I keep walking down.Failure is on every side of me.I just need reasurance that everything will be fine.I feel like I have forgotton about God and for that I seriosly need to go to church tomorw.I just wonder if hell be angray with me. I promised myself I would go every sunday.The pain I swear its so hard to handle.God should shoot me .I ruin everything. Its not fair that he has so much loveb for people who have done wrong to him but,for people who love him he haas no love or very little.I'm so confused on this. I just cant understand. I'm just not good enough for him or anyting. i trukley believe I was suppose to die as a baby.I was never ment to be born.

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2:23 pm - my heart is breaking
Will you ever see me,not your ex but me,will you ever forget her and turn your heart to me.Is she always on your mind does she have power over you.How can you still care about her,and not care bout me.My heart is forever hurting when I am by your side,Knowing all the time you spend with me its her thats on your mind. I cant take the pain much more but,its you I love so much.Cant you ever forget her can you just accept my love.I feel so vonerable knowing its me that never be that perfect one for you. I just cant believe I have been so stupid not to see your heart and soul does not belong to me but,to her forever more.

current mood: cold

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Wednesday, November 2nd, 2005
4:21 pm - Angelas Birthday
Today is angelas birthday WOOT!. I want to spend quality time with Ben so I complained to him about that. So he was like lets watch a movie and drink some whine. Then I was like I have no cigz and he was like thats ok ill hook bebeb up. Bebe is our crazy pet names for each other. Usually people say Baby,but we state our love like Bebe. hahahha ok I'm being so dumb about mentioning my pathetic love for Ben on my live journal. But hey where else can i document my feelings about him in. I guess you people are gonnna have tyo stomach it all in. I'm rEALY EXCITED ABOUT TONIGHT. aLLY IS LETTING ME borrow her red dress so I'm excited!.It should be a realy cool looking dress. I'm gonna look so darn preaty.

current mood: cheerful

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Friday, July 15th, 2005
7:01 pm
Confused and very alone right now.I jus dont understand my heart. I say I loove him but when he crosses my jelousy line I get pissed. I dont like feeling these feelings but I have no choice to feel like this.I just want him to respect me.I dont want him with other females since we are suppose to be toghther i'm not ready for this kind of relationship with a man. I want a loving one where i'm his number one proirity. Like in Carly and Andrewsn relationship.I guess I cant expect to get that being me Tiffany. I can never find a man to treat me like a princess but then agagin I'm the brat about it all. In good sense I just wish he consider how I felt. This very moment. I cant stand femalesDamit!FUCK CRAP !!!!!!!Fuck it all.

current mood: bitchy

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Sunday, July 10th, 2005
5:08 pm - my summer
My summer went fucking crazy.First I broke up with Pat around the end of May. I just wasn't feeling him.I have always thought of him as my best friend. I do miss him alot but that brings me to my new life event. Ben!My NEW boyfriend.I met him thre Angela.I have been chilling with him since November but,recently took notice. I'm very happy with him even thow I feel that things are moving a little to fast. I'm terrified to fall back in love because of Kevin.I hate that m0other fucker.But anywayz Ben makes me happy and right now is perfect for my life. Well see what happenes with us it's still too early to tell.

Debbie my poor debbie got crushed by Endy.I feel for her and I feel so horrible.I love her!!!!!!!!!!!!!

current mood: cheerful

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Wednesday, July 6th, 2005
6:17 pm - A letter to myself
I feel that things have gotten better then ever before. I have made so many nice friends and well I'm real happy about that. My friendships have changes alot thow with certain people. Me and debbie have drifted further apart. I hate say it, but nothing feels the same with her. Patrick is taking our break up realy well. I didnt expect it but its true.When I first told him he was real upset.But now he dosent even act like he cares bout me which dosent bother me at all. He can act that way cause it takes all that crappy stress that i dont need away.But in allm honesty I have never been happier

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Saturday, February 12th, 2005
9:04 am - this sucks
So I'm finally back home to post in you.Last Saterday my dad and I had gotton in a fight about some dumb bullshit and he kicked me out. Damn it sucked. I went to Tina and stood there for a while. Pat just wokrs and wroks he bearly has time for me. It sucks that it has to be like that.Sometimes I wish hed just be a regular 9 to 5 but in the aftermath of that happening I'll still feel sad.I need someone to be with me all the time and its not because of any obsesson it's because I need constent support with this and that.I got my high school diploma yay!!! Gonna go to the college on monday!!!!!!!!!!!I feel so much better now.At one point I felt like such a loser.Not having nothing but a gay ass pizza hut job. but now I can do something kick ass with my life.

Lately I have been deprssed but, it's the depression that comes and goes. I feel so weird being at my dads house after he kicked me out. I know he dosen't realy care about me and he'll always be like that. After so many years of the same bullshit I have gotton use to him not careing. But it still hurts soooooooooo much.

I just saw the movie monster and I understand everything she went threw. Life is hard and nonbody cares.People will spit on you bethey lend you a hand. Shit people need jesus................................. where is my pot and porn damnit!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

current mood: numb

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Monday, January 31st, 2005
7:29 pm - Thank you
I wanted to tell you about my DXM expierence,well it was great. I felt so good and I dint see anyhting thow but I felt drunk and high without the feling of having to puck.Thank you for everyone that helped me.

current mood: thankful

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4:25 pm - ove and marrige lmao i love that show!
Right now I'm at wanna do city with my brother. He is enjoying playing around and seeing what things they have here. Went to Pats house this mroning and I feel bad because I slept all day there and didn talk to him. But we did get mad stoned.lol. I'm happy about that! I just want to be with him and love him. I never feel the time we spend toghther is good enough.I want him to realize what he means o me nt just as my boyfriend but as my goal in life. I want to make him happy with no doubt.I love him so much and I just want him to be happy. Happpy dammit. I just want to be happy. Last night I drank all this dxm and I was feeling super good. I'm gonna try it when I get my check and see how it is on a full 8 mg. Well I have yo go ttyl journal bye.

current mood: amused

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Sunday, January 23rd, 2005
11:03 am
Today should be fun........I see pat and then I think i'm gonna go see anthony. Probley am!only day ill be able to hang with him for a while.Last night was ok seemes like a blur thow. lol.i feel realy strange right now like i should be doing somthing....I'm so confused....

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Friday, January 21st, 2005
11:42 am
Life is so crazy. One point I feel good the next I feel sad. I'm so confused on how I should feel or act. Everytime I get happy I feel I should be punished for being happy.I went to the movies last night to see whit noise scared the damnd shit out of me. I went with my boobie head (pat) of course. I love him so much! He tries so much to be my comfort.Hes doing a wonderfull job, on that.

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9:24 am - family
my family is crazy,If I dont get kicked out from one place then I thrown from an other.

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